He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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