We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
