Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
