All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
