We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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