At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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