just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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