Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
