I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
