Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
