can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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