Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The beer is more important than you right now.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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