I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Terrible idea I love it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
