Screwed.edu
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize