I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
