sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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