When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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