respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
