Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
