hell yes lets make some ravioli
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You are a genius and a whore.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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