I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
