So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
operation have a gay friend backfired
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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