dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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