Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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