We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
