But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
