He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
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She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This is classic penis vs brain.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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