Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
