I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
