their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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