and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
