OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
