It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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