Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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