Sry I called you an 8
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free