So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?