Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(890): View more from

whats a polygalesbian?

(728): View more from

lesbian polygamists..duh.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.

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(754): View more from Florida

you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

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(310): View more from California

So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

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(240): View more from Maryland

I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't

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(845): View more from New York

It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes

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(407): View more from Florida

No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.

(804): View more from Virginia

I just pictured that. It's reading a book.

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(775): View more from Nevada

The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy

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