is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.