The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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