you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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