How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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