I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You smell like stripper and shame
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
