you have to choose: penises or morals?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
