I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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