You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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