So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
