I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
