I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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