Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
