I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
