My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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