Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
