it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
