Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
