I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
