Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
