I'm eating all of the evidence.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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