overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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