she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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