i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
