He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
