Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
