I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
