My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
