he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
